Captain Murderer

I finally found the title of an old fairy tale that is my favourite, and doesn't seem that well known. It is a story of matrimonial treachery and revenge~~ I'll share it here for those that don't want to look it up.

There is a man named Captain Murderer whom is always marrying women. Skipping the methods in which he courts them, which include making love and proposing in different carriages or something like that, after the wedding ceremony and honeymoon, he takes her back to his house and says that it is tradition for his wives to make a pie crust to bake a pie for him. If the wife didn't know how, she was taught.

The wife watches Captain bring out ingredients for the pie crust in copious amounts, yet she sees no filling for the pie. She asks the Captain what kind of pie they were making. The Captain laughed a might laugh and replied, "A meat pie!" However, the new wife looked around and couldn't find any meat. Asking where the meat was, the Captain humorously replied "Look in the glass." The wife looks at the looking glass across from her but sees no meat.

She rolls out the pie crust and lines the giant pie dish when she hears her husband speak. "I see meat in the glass!" And the wife looks up just in time to see the Captain pull out his sword and take off her head. Then he sliced her up, peppered and salted her and put her in the pie, and send it off to the bakers to be baked, and ate it and picked the bones clean.

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The Captain is looking for a new wife and begins to decide between two sisters, a fair one and a dark one, Both of equal beauty. In the end, the Captain chose the fair skinned sister, for she loved him and the dark one hated him.

But the dark sister was suspicious and crept to his house after the honeymoon; and she watches him take off her sisters head and cut her up, peppering and salting her and picking her bones clean. So she devises a way to get revenge for her sister. She goes to his house the next day and says "Please marry me, for I am actually in love with you, and was jealous of my sister." The captain agreed and a wedding was quickly arranged.

After the honeymoon, the Captain gets her to make a pie crust for him, just like his other wives. But before he takes off her head, the dark sister had ingested a poison, brewed from toad's eyes and spider's knees. The Captain hadn't even managed to pick her bones clean when he turned blue and started swelling. And he swelled bigger and bigger, screaming until he finally exploded.

And that was the end of Captain Murderer.

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And that is Captain Murderer, basically, by Charles Dickens. I recommend you go look it up yourself for a more detailed version ^^ Hope you enjoyed story time.